As we warm up for the proper launch of the Case Files newsletter, I wanted to start us off with a look into the psychology behind why you might want to sign up in the first place. There’s a lot of fascination with serial killers and murderers in popular culture, which can be seen everywhere from hugely successful podcasts to Netflix specials to best-selling books.
But just why do we have this uncommon fascination with serial killers and their ways of mayhem? What is it that keeps us from looking away? Why do some of us even come to the point of harbouring attraction to them, as in the case of famously ‘handsome’ Ted Bundy?
There are a few reasons that all come together in a perfect storm to create that surreal fascination we feel. Let’s dive into those and explore them - before we look at ten examples of women who loved serial killers so much, they ended up marrying them!
One important point ties into our evolutionary need to be aware of the threats in our environment, and to prepare to meet them. We’re hardwired to figure out ways to escape danger, cheating predators out of a meal. And what is a serial killer, really, but a predator?
In an article for Psychology Today, Scott Bon, an author and criminologist, states the following:
The average person who has been socialized to respect life, and who also possesses the normal range of emotions such as love, shame, pity, and remorse cannot comprehend the workings of a pathological mind that would compel one to abduct, torture, rape, kill, engage in necrophilia, and occasionally even eat another human being. The incomprehensibility of such actions drives society to understand why serial killers do incredibly horrible things to other people who often are complete strangers.
He goes on to note that serial killers are unusual for three reasons: they are rare within our population, they kill many people randomly over a long period of time, and they exhibit behaviour that seems difficult, if not impossible, to understand.
In other words: first, they are a rare threat which we don’t get enough time to study and get close to in our day-to-day lives. Think about the danger of being run over by a car - it’s very real and very deadly, but most of us aren’t fascinated with tales of car accidents enough to share our favourites. Why? Probably because we deal with cars often enough to be well aware of the dangers and how to avoid them.
Secondly, the fact they kill randomly and over time means that we could easily become a victim of a serial killer ourselves, since you don’t have to do anything in particular to attract their attention. We want to avoid that, so we study them.
Thirdly, because their behaviour is so strange, we want to do whatever we can to understand it. Why? Again, so that we don’t end up a victim ourselves.
This is one of the reasons why true crime shows are so popular. Whether telling you what not to do (documentaries about killers and their victims) or advising you on how to escape (shows like ‘I Survived…’), they help us to internalise a kind of manual for getting out of dangerous situations.
Take, for example, the story of Ted Bundy. When he approached Carol DaRonch on November 8, 1974, he introduced himself as a police officer and even showed her a realistic badge. Although, there were a few warning signs: he smelled of alcohol, for example, and was driving a civilian car. But she lived in a safe community. When this officer told her to get into his car and come with him to the police station, to make a statement about a fictional break-in attempt on her own car, she did it.
And, of course, Ted Bundy turned out not to be a police officer, but a serial killer who intended for her to be his next victim.
So, what kind of internal guidelines can we pick up from this story? One, always verify the identity of a law enforcement officer before going anywhere with them (or letting them inside your home, for that matter). Two, if something feels off, it probably is off, so don’t ignore your instincts. And three, ‘safe’ areas are only safe until the first time something happens in them.
See how it works?
Carol DaRonch fought her way out of that car and survived. So, from her, too, we can learn how to get out of a situation that could be deadly. Four hours later, Bundy found another victim and killed them instead.
Talking of Ted Bundy, we also promised right up top to look into the women who loved serial killers - and ‘loved’ is really the right term.
Hybristophilia is the term for sexual attraction towards someone who commits violent or offensive acts. It’s also known as Bonnie and Clyde syndrome because Bonnie Parker was herself attracted to Clyde Barrow, despite already knowing he was an intensely violent man.
There is debate on where this attraction comes from - often, presumably, a very dark place in the psyche, and there is some suggestion that the popular culture examples of violent men in romantic settings increase this phenomenon (Buffy and Spike/Angel, Elena and Damon/Stefan, and just to prove it’s not only vampires, how about Blair and Chuck?). Either way, it’s certainly fascinating. So, here are ten couples who got together only after the loving husband was convicted for murder.
10. Ted Bundy and Carol Anne Boone
Bundy has always been described as charismatic and attractive, though how much of that is down to Bonnie and Clyde syndrome remains unclear. He met Carol for the first time in 1974, before he’d been caught for any of his killings, but the pair didn’t hit it off as much as Carol might have wanted. It was only later, when he was on trial for the murders of more than thirty women, that she stepped up to become his girlfriend and then fiancee.
While on trial for the murder of 12-year-old Kimberley Leach, Bundy represented himself and used a legal loophole he’d discovered to get them married after declaring it in front of the judge. Yes, they were officially wed during his trial for sexually assaulting and killing a child. Ugh.
9. Richard Ramirez and Doreen Lioy
The Nightstalker was on death row for 13 murders, 11 sexual assaults, and various other crimes when he met magazine editor Doreen Lioy. It started out as written correspondence and blossomed into a love affair. They finally married in 1996 while he was still in prison.
Doreen may not be an example of Bonnie and Clyde syndrome, however: for some reason, despite the enormous amounts of evidence, she believed her man was innocent. She said: “He’s kind, he’s funny, he’s charming. I just believe in him completely. In my opinion, there was far more evidence to convict O.J. Simpson, and we all know how that turned out.”
8. Oscar Ray Bolin and Rosalie Martinez
Rapist and murderer of three young women Oscar Ray Bolin was not a nice character. He had to be kept under extra security after being assessed as a dangerous psychopath and a flight risk. His wife-to-be said that going to visit him felt like “going in to see Hannibal Lector.”
They married in 1996, over speakerphone since they weren’t allowed to do it in the prison. Rosalie had a framed photograph of her husband sitting beside her instead of the real thing. She also protested his innocence until his death, despite - again - plenty of evidence and failed retrials.
7. Phillip Carl Jablonski and Carol Spadoni
Jablonski was convicted of murdering five women, including the mother of his daughter. He also tried to kill his first wife, though he failed. So, who wouldn’t want to marry this stud?
Enter Carol Spadoni, who responded to a lonely hearts ad… for a prisoner. It doesn’t sound like a place where I’d go looking for love, but what do I know? While Spadoni and Jablonski were never actually married, they did move in together and live as partners for a year after his release.
Why only a year? Well, because he killed her and her mother next. Naturally.
6. The Hillside Stranglers
We get a double entry here since both Kenneth Bianchi and Angelo Buoni Jr managed to convince women to marry them after their convictions. Despite torturing and killing ten victims between them, one of whom was only 12 years old, Christine Kizuka became Mrs Buoni in a small prison visiting room in 1986.
Shirlee Joyce Book followed suit to become Mrs Bianchi in 1989 - despite having only met her husband in person for the first time one day before the ceremony. Prior to this, they fell in love through letters.
5. Tex Watson and Kristin Joan Svege
Tex Watson was a member of Charles Manson’s infamous “family”, and took part in the murders of eight people: Sharon Tate and her unborn child, her four house guests, and Leno and Rosemary LaBianca.
In spite of this, Tex has managed to have a pretty normal family life, so long as you ignore that he’s on the other side of the bars to his family. Not only did he marry, but he managed to conceive four children during conjugal visits.
4. The Menendez Brothers
Another two for one deal here. Lyle and Erik were only 21 and 18, respectively, when they murdered their own parents. We could do a whole article about their motives and whether they should be allowed leniency, but that’s something for another time.
Instead, let’s just be impressed that both of them have managed to find wives behind bars - and Lyle has even been married twice. Like most prisoners, they met their partners through penpal services.
3. Sandie Blanton
Breaking the format of this list to talk about the woman, rather than the killer, is necessary in the case of Sandie Blanton. Why? Because she’s fall in love with not one… but two.
It started with Charles Mamou, a convicted double murderer and rapist, who proposed to her after just three visits. Then they ended up divorced, and she moved on with Reginald Blanton. Sadly, this murderer’s time on death row was up before they could tie the knot, but she still took his name.
2. Zayd Rashid and Asha Bandele
Rashid ended up convicted for murder after killing someone during a botched robbery, but that didn’t put off Bandele. She saw him during a poetry reading in prison and it was love at first sight. Not only were they married, but they even had two children together.
They ended up divorcing after 15 years, and on his release five years after that, Rashid was deported - so things don’t look good for a reunion.
1. Bobby Lee Harris and Dagmar Polzin
It wasn’t just death row that separated them, but a whole lot of distance as well. Harris was sentenced to death for robbing and murdering his employer, and while in prison it was discovered he had an IQ of 73.
All of this was music to the ears of Germany resident Polzin, who saw his face for the first time on an anti-death row ad. The arrow of Cupid struck home, and she moved to North Carolina to be near him. Though they intended to marry, eventually Polzin reportedly decided she did not want to become a widow and called the whole thing off - using it as a publicity point to campaign against his execution.
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