Hello, subscribers! All… 26 of you.
I’ve been working on this Substack for a while now and I’ve started to find it harder and harder. There are multiple reasons for that, which I’ll share here:
The low success figures I’ve been having. Follower count was never the end all and be all of this Substack - I conceived it originally as a way to write the content for an upcoming non-fiction book, spreading the work out as much as possible, but it’s also difficult to do something into a vacuum. Or, I don’t know. I’m used to working in a vacuum. There’s something different about working in public and still not getting much of a response, though.
I’m not fully connecting with my own style on these posts anymore. There are some incredible non-fiction Substacks out there (I was going to tag a few, but on second thought, this is a bit of a pity party, and no one wants an unsolicited invite to that). When I read them, I look back at my own work here and I feel that it’s lacking… something. It could be because I’m not writing much crime anymore - more on that in the next point - but maybe I just haven’t hit on the style I want to use for this newsletter. While I don’t like what I’m writing, it makes me not feel inspired to write more. I’ve come to see working on this Substack as a chore, not an exciting venture.
I’m not writing much crime anymore! (as alluded). I’ve paused my crime fiction series - Serial Investigations, which is where most of you probably came from - for now while I publish romance (and the accompanying romance Substack at
). I’m still writing mystery/thriller for a client, but that series is a lot less… realistic, shall we say. I’m not immersed in the world of true crime right now and diving into these horrible crimes over and over again can get pretty draining.I have a lot of other stuff on - see above romance series, plus ghostwriting work, plus a toddler running rings around me, plus running a fashion magazine. A magazine which is very much in sink or swim phase (it has been for about 6 years, but you know, that still takes up a lot of time and energy to make sure we keep swimming for at least another week longer). I’m tired. After a few months this summer of having a couple of days off a week, somehow I’ve traveled back to working 7 days a week and long into the evening. The other night, I worked until 2am and then got up at 5.30am with the toddler, for example. I’m getting close to burnout. I need to take something off my plate.
I’m also really starting to question my place in and my approach to true crime. A lot of thinking has evolved over the last few years and I do pay attention to it. I’m starting to become increasingly uncomfortable with talking about murder. I like to centre the victims as much as I can to give a more ethical view, but then you think about the family members who are still grieving and what true crime as an entertainment genre does to them. I don’t know. I don’t think I’m truly done with true crime, I think I just need to find a balanced approach that I can live with. I had been considering moving on from murder to missing people once I had finished the run I’m working on now, and maybe I bring that forward instead. It could help do some good, maybe. I don’t know.
I’m also struggling a lot with marketing this newsletter. The Crowhill Cove series is relatively easy because I just share the link in the book! If you like the book, you’ll like the Substack. And if people come to the Substack and like it, they’ll like the book. It’s an ecosystem that makes sense to me. And there are spaces, like on TikTok, which are perfect for talking about romance novels. True crime substacks based on UK-only crimes seem to be a bit harder. And if I can’t market it, maybe I won’t be able to market a book, either. Which makes this whole venture a bit moot.
And truly, while this may seem sudden, it isn’t. There was a point where I had a lot more enthusiasm for this newsletter. I was writing far in advance - I even hit Substack’s limit of three months queue - and had to start saving posts as drafts to queue up later. I had probably about six months’ worth of content done at once. And then… I stopped. The updates didn’t stop for you because they were already in the pipeline, but I’ve had ‘new Substack post’ written on my daily work list multiple weeks - maybe months now - in a row and I just keep scratching it out and ignoring it. Now and then I get as far as the research phase, open up another news article about another grisly murder, and groan and go and do something else because I just can’t right now. Maybe it’s the burnout, maybe it’s being a mother and seeing the world through a different lens, maybe it’s the ethical view. Maybe I’m just tired of doing work that people find entertainment from and not getting directly paid for it, or, when I am paid, not getting paid enough. All I know is I’ve spent months trying to write a new post for this newsletter, and I can’t, and now the time is upon us and I can’t put it off any longer and I still can’t.
Maybe this burnout/lack of enthusiasm will go away and I'll come back and write some more posts. I’m not sure. It could be that this just languishes forever and I never do the book project, either.
It would be nice to hear some encouragement, honestly. I’m not the type to fish usually (I’m British, after all), but right now, if you have kind words, I would like to hear them. And if you don’t? Maybe that’s a sign that this newsletter is better off buried like its subjects.
See? That line made me cringe. I might not be cut out for this anymore.
If you like gay romance, you know where you can find me (and if you answered in the recent poll that you’re here because you enjoy my writing style, you can actually sign up for the part of
that talks about writing, but ignore the gay romance fiction stuff) - but otherwise, I’m signing off here for a bit. Probably indefinitely, but you never know.Rhiannon
I think there are always changes that come with being a mother. I know for myself, there were several crime/mystery (fiction) series I was reading before I had children. After I had them, if there was any mention of a child in any of those books, I wouldn't read any further. There were several authors I quit reading. The children in the books wouldn't necessarily be in any danger or harmed in any way, but I coudn't stomach them being in the books at all any more.
In addition, just the complete EXHAUSTION that comes with being a parent is hard to imagine until you are one! :) DO NOT beat yourself up or feel guilty/bad in any way if you need to take a break from anything you were doing before you had kids. There is only so much time in the day. Some advice I got, that I really liked was, if you are working parents and your house is completely clean, your yard is beautiful, your laundry is always done, and the meals are perfect - you are missing out on spending time with your kids. Do what you can/need to do that makes you happy and still allows you to enjoy the time you spend with your child. They don't care about how many emails/newsletters, etc. you are sending, but they will care that you are there for them.
I love Serial Investigations, but can understand that it is something that would burn you out as an author when you have so many other things going on. You are such an excellent writer, and I'm sure it is hard to put out something you are proud of when you have a million things going on, you are exhausted, and you don't enjoy what you are doing.
Take care of yourself and take the break that you need. You are more imortant than any book series!